New Hair Cut... New me...

Thanks Pal... for being there for me. Though i am down... i am so happy that Keith is treating you so good, showering you every love he got and making u queen of his heart. I can feel your happiness... I wish S will do the least for me. I know he tried and his been pressure all the way coz he is working hard to build things up. But i wish he can just be a little bit involving of me when he talk and when he do things. I really love him. Though i struggle really really hard coz his ego really so big so big he will treaten me when he won't agree my view and get his wvay to do his way. I am really sad coz i just wish he can respect my decision and what i love and want in life a little bit more. and share his love of his photography and everything with me.

The hair wash and massage really feel so great. Been 2 years haven't met any hair stylist that respect my hair. though i try my best.. letting my friend pampered i me but my heart still feel very painful. Why when people in love they feel so hang fuk... But everytime i in love i have to go through threatening, i have to go through heart break. i wish i wish to be hug, to be loved, not to worry my future as i know that someone will take care of me. I have given all.. my heart, my spirit my life. i just need him to feel a little bit sensitive toward me. I remember January u write me a card... u been busy coz u wanted to plan for our marriage, plan for ur Father and Mother's Trip to germany. I wish u can share with me ur progress but no a word. i really felt left out. Those hurtful word u tell me plus u telling me what i say is all nonsense really hurting me.

But i promise my friends... I have to try at least to be happy so things will make a better change. True.. i think if i continue i going to go crazy and kill myself. All want to do is Pray.. I pray that God will show u the way how to be sensitive toward me and shower with patience and care.

Be Happy !!!

Hmmm... its rough day... but thanks for 2 friends. Thanks you so much... i feel better and i wish its just April Fool hehe... I learn something today.. if someone kick u you have to be happy rather than feel sad coz ... been kick already painful then kick urself again.. for feeling down. Should be the other way ... i am just going take a break today... be stone all that you want ... u been hurting me enough i am not going to make myself feel even low and down... time to lose the hair and PARTY!!