Doing the Rite thing@!@

Have u gone through a depressing stage and as you cry yourself to sleep... you look up and ask God some question you wondered he cares? Well i know he does, thats why i can talk to him when i am so down or up or instant or anywhere i am. And i understand that he will answer me in his time and space.

As i was struggle with ?'s in my head, wondering why my bf react to things that matter less ... i ask God ... is this the man he have plans for me? Pastor told me once - Lisa you be happy with a believer... and his sermon ... if u wondering which is God sent, God sent will always be a believer... but sometimes its not so. It could be someone who don't believe in him yet he have sent you to convert him. Of course everythings is in God's hand.

Anyway... i met his nice person who i add from facebook... never taught he turn out very sincere. His like everything in him. his crazy at times, funny with alot of humor, imaginative tend to picture beautiful pictures... day dream you can say, and very straight foward, his very strategic in his way of doing so u can expect his a well plan person hmmm educated too, best of all he likes to correspond and i felt i can just be straight and open to him and yet he respect me. Hmm But... his not a christian and he don't believe in God. Its nice to have him as friends and i make it clear to him but his strategically plans make me pictures more than friends expectation from him. And i felt its the rite way to do thats to tell him i am committed to someone. Ya... eventually i risk loosing a friend. It feels like when i am happy opening a present ... i have to give it away coz i am not worthy of. Hmmm its kinda break my heart but there is nothing i can do about it. of course i can say nothing about my commitment and go on opening this present but ... hmm...

I haven't get a mail from him yet. My friend said if he didn't write such friend you shouldn't need to be upset about coz his just not worthy as a friend~ just someone who have an intention over me. Hmmm... still i miss his mail.

Life goes on.