Today is a beautiful day. Give my hair a nice wash and start a brand new day. As i look up i see blue blue sky which remind me about the sermon Dr Kelvin Tean shared which represented God's 10 Commandment and Jesus Righteousness toward his children. Hmm.. Seeing my Boss all Cracking up trying to set up things prep for the new Telemarketing Team which we going to set up. I wish i can be the able to do something help or part of it so i can earn more and i can have new job task and learn new things ... so i am praying about it. After a sit down brain storming and giving him more ideas and explain to him how things work he left the office ... Me.. hehe.. can lepak little bit with my friend online till haha.. my bf called. Hmmm another STORM again.
I really fedup about it. Why this have to happen to me. Hmm have to deal with the one u love which won't accept your ideas, won't explain to me further when i get him wrong rather get fedup straight away of me and trow me heart broken words and give me the wall or being defensive. Can u imagize in it? of all people in the world the one u love the most give u this??? What is love i ask myself again... I so hurt suddenly when he talk to me "Beey u really can't help anything but just know how to talk alot!!" Walau my heart straight away shettered to pieces as my eyes potted with water just going to drip. ARGH.... its just not the first time he did that to me.... i just can't stand it... why i being sincere to him in all things and yet he can't be a little bit kinder to me with his word? GOSH... can't stand it i just told him why not u find someone that can help u and don't talk so much... just get urself another gf.... haha.. and he taught i am joking. Though i talk to him with my hand pressing on my heart even it hurts i have to tell him this. what is the use of a partner in life which can't play the part?? well straigth away when i listen to that centence i felt like there is nothing i can do rite and just "TROUBLED HIM" with me talking too much!!! i don't know about him.. but to me i felt like what the use i am with such person which i can't raise him up but tumble him down. There come more picture fleshing in my mind wondering how in the world he can tolerate me to live under 1 roof for the rest of his life.
Can't take it lah... HOW? IF this is a test that God have given me. Let me tell u this relationship is the tougher of all that i had. Hmmm "Communication" which is the most important thingy in any relationship yet in this relationship is the most challenging thingy i go through.
I am sorry i have to stop the conversation coz i just feel like the more we continue talking i think i will start to rain. hahaha.... Another round of conflict and learning curve. Well take it possitve and take it wrong. Life goes on, but if i can change it i hope communication can go easier with him without getting hurt. Just plan sincere chat with no barrier.
2 comments:
Blek..... hehe i know beey... miss u so much that just hope sweet words come out from u fist, but.... hmm.. is ok la, change the way i talk k. miss u lot, meet on this sunday.
something to ponder...
Do i make u feel u are small in my eyes??
Do i Criticize u??
Do i use unkind words??
Do i make fun of u??
Never ... I look at ur prod and not u. I concern of what people said about what u create ... its just a product why do i care? because u the creator i want answer why this happen. You should have given me a big picture rather criticize me and make me feel so useless & so unworthy. not just once but most of the conflict we have. its too much for me to bear.
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